Juliana Moves

Heads up: this is going to be a stream of consciousness, but I need to work something out. 

Over the last few months, I have felt pulled in a million different directions by a million different things and people. Most of these people/commitments/events/things are good (very good!) but have added stress into my life in new and unique ways. I don’t think it’s the overall load that has worn me out but the intensity with which it developed in such a short time frame. Basically, September through December has been fun and exciting and exhausting.

The best way I can describe what I am feeling is a longing for hibernation. I want to sleep and read and go on adventures at entirely my own pace and leisure. I both want to spend time with my communities and be left entirely alone. It’s a weird sensation for me. Truthfully, this may all be seasonally driven, at least partially. It got cold and dark so fast that the whiplash was intense. Regardless, I feel keyed up (and maybe even irritable??) in an unusual way, and I don’t like it.

I feel like I am pretty good at taking care of myself! I have so many activities and people in my life that fill my cup. And yet, when it comes to my energy and sociability, I feel like I am scraping the bottom of the barrel. I’ve sort of felt this way before, especially at this time of year. Normally I feel the desperate urge to make a big change! Like signing up for a big race or getting a tattoo or booking a trip! It’s as if I don’t have the mental bandwidth to plan something pleasurable in my own life.

I was describing this sensation to a friend the other day. I explained that I almost feel like I am burned out, but I’m not sure why that would be the case. Yes, I’ve been busy, but I haven’t felt acutely overwhelmed. It crept up quietly. On the other hand, it almost feels like I just need to gather some momentum and get the ball rolling on creating joy! Kind of like I’m not doing enough so I feel stagnant and sad. It’s like opposite ends of a spectrum. Weird, right?

In retrospect, this post comes across low-key depressing, which is not meant to be the case! LOL. I’m just pretty sure I am not the only person feeling some type of way this time of year. I hope you know you’re not alone in this. Plus, typing things out allows me to think them through. It’s like having a conversation with myself.

Until I can figure out how to feel 100% like me again, I’ll continue giving myself some grace. And maybe splurging on a spa day!

Love,

JN

PS: I am working on my 2026 goals and hope to have a post ready soon. Those do get my excited about the future and inspire me to look ahead!